Effects of Emotional Abuse: It Hurts When I Love

"In many ways, emotional abuse is more psychologically harmful than physical abuse. There are a couple of reasons for this. Even in the most violent families, the incidents tend to be cyclical. Early in the abuse cycle, a violent outburst is followed by a honeymoon period of remorse, attention, affection, and generosity, but not genuine compassion. (The honeymoon stage eventually ends, as the victim begins to say, “Never mind the damn flowers, just stop hitting me!”) Emotional abuse, on the other hand, tends to happen every day. The effects are more harmful because they’re so frequent.”

I felt to add this article because I really do believe there is more of a correlation between actual verbal/emotional abuse then there is physical. I always felt and known that you can always fix something physically done, but you can sometime never fix anything physiologic. Your emotions is what keeps you together and if you lose security in that you began to give up on yourself and life. A million smaller demeaning things said can hurt just has much as being hit. I know this can break bit of your spirit and feel as if there is no purpose for you anymore. The one thing you do good is followed by a ton of things you did bad. Mistakes means punishment instead of a learning process.

Effects of Domestic Violence on Children

"The effects of witnessing domestic violence appear to diminish with time, as long as the violence ends or they are no longer exposed to it, but the impact can continue through adulthood. As adults, child witnesses may continue to suffer from depression, anxiety and trauma-related symptoms, such as post-traumatic stress disorder. Even two decades ago, research by Strauss and colleagues indicated that boys who witness domestic violence were more likely to batter their partners as adults and abuse their own children. From: Strauss, Gelles, & Smith, (1990). Physical Violence in American Families: Risk Factors and Adaptations to Violence in 8,145 Families. [out of print]”

I know this seems a little off subject, but I believe in this greatly. I personally know how some of these children can feel in these situations. I’ve been very fortunate not to suffer from any effects and believe this has only made me a stronger individual. It’s only a lesson to teach you what not to do and the respect you must show to someone you love. My relationship with my brother, sister, and mother is untouchable and believe because of it nothing will every break it.

National Statistics about Sexual Violence on College Campuses

  • One in 4 college-aged women report experiences that meet the legal definitions of rape or attempted rape.
  • One in 5 college women are raped during their college years.
  • Most survivors of sexual assaults are full-time students. Approximately one-third of them are first year students between 17-19 years old.
  • In survey of 412 college students, it was found that 11.7% of gay or bisexual men and 30.6% of the lesbian or bisexual women indicated that they had been forced to have sex against their will at some point in their lives.
  • 81% of women who were stalked by a current or former partner were also physically assaulted by that same partner (US Department of Justice, 1998)
  • 80-90% of sexual assaults are perpetrated by individuals known to the survivor.
  • 85% of rapes are committed by a person the victim knows.
  • In a recent study by the National Institute of Justice, survivors of rape knew their attackers as:
    • Fellow classmates (35.5%)
    • Friends (34.2%)
    • Boyfriends or ex-boyfriends (23.7%)
    • Acquaintances (2.6%)
  • One in 12 college men admitted to committing acts that met the legal definition of rape.
  • More than one in 5 men report “becoming so sexually aroused that they could not stop themselves from having sex,” even though the woman did not consent.
  • 35% of men report some likelihood that they would rape if they could be assured they wouldn’t be caught or punished.
  • 81% of on-campus and 84% of off-campus sexual assaults are not reported to the police.
  • Fewer than 5% of attempted/completed rapes are reported to law enforcement.
  • Nearly 60% of rapes occur in the survivor’s residence hall.
  • 52% of reported rapes/sexual assaults occur after midnight; 37% occur between 6pm and midnight.
  • In a survey of students at 171 institutions of higher education, alcohol was involved in 74% of all sexual assaults.

You makes me sick to see this especially while I’m still in school. I felt this to be appropriate do largely in part that this is a college class and no matter what age or time in your life it can still occur. Words couldn’t describe what I would do if I would ever come across it now.


Wasn’t able to watch all of this. You really get a first-hand idea of how some women can’t leave because they’re financially unable to.

Prosecutions and convictions for crimes of violence against women and girls increase by 15,000 over four years.

Story comes out of the UK.


Felt this as a suitable website for women to get help!

Rachel Maddow - GOP follows Violence Against Women rollback with ‘bullying’ D.C. women

House Passes Violence Against Women Act-

(Source: qweent)


Wow. Look at the numbers for girlfriend and wife. Sickening.
Also: “Of the female murder victims for whom the relationships to their offenders were known, 37.5 percent were murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.”


Wow. Look at the numbers for girlfriend and wife. Sickening.

Also: “Of the female murder victims for whom the relationships to their offenders were known, 37.5 percent were murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.”

(Source: symphonyysoldier)

Stopping Violence Against Women!

As sexual violence is often perpetrated by people known to their victim, it has
been regarded as a private matter. This is particularly the case when rape
occurs within intimate partner relationships. Law and culture have supported
mens rights to have control in the home without interference. Rape in marriage
only became illegal in 1985! Though the law has changed, the social
expectation that women should be available for sex still exists, as does the
belief that women owe sex to male partners.

Rape and sexual abuse are (generally) accepted as bad things that happen in
the world. It is treated as something that we need to accept and take
precautions to avoid. There isn’t an expectation that we should be able to live
free from sexual violence. In 2006, it is abhorrent that sexual violence still
exists! As a community we do not ask who rapes and sexually abuses or how
we can stop sexual violence. This lack of questioning allows us to accept sexual
violence as something that happens rather than something we can understand,
be outraged about, and stop. Rape and sexual abuse must be eradicated.
Unless we acknowledge the reality of the situation, that this is a crime
perpetrated by men against women, then we lose our ability to understand how
and why it happens and therefore our ability to end it.

Acknowledging that rape and sexual abuse are gendered crimes, or talking
about sexual violence as a feminist issue, is increasingly unaccepted. A shift
away from gendered analysis, to approaching sexual violence as a gender
neutral issue, is occurring. This is part of the general backlash against
feminism, which is informed by the belief that feminism has gone too far and
tipped the balance of equality so that it is now men who are disadvantaged.
Many people consider feminism to be an outdated idea whose time has passed.
This argument supports society’s general shift towards gender neutrality and
reinforces the presumption that sexual violence is something that is committed
by people against people. There isn’t the same kind of feminist movement that
existed in the 1970’s. Therefore, the backlash isn’t being responded to
adequately. There is insufficient public challenging around sexist advertising,
pornography, and other forms of sexism. This helps support a culture where
degradation and the sexual objectification of women is considered acceptable,
which in turn supports male violence against women.

In order to end sexual violence the feminist movement must be regenerated and sustained. The gendered nature of rape and sexual abuse must be acknowledged – if we do not recognize the issue we cannot stop it. Sexual violence is a symptom of patriarchy – therefore patriarchy must be confronted in order to eradicate rape and sexual abuse. We need a feminist groundswell in order to challenge this pervasive and harmful social issue. We need to actively oppose the oppression of women in all areas of society in order to create a climate where rape and sexual abuse can no longer occur.

We must stop blaming women for being raped or sexually abused and stop
putting the responsibility for safety on women alone. We must start asking,
“Why do men rape and sexually abuse women?” “How can we as a community
stop this from continuing to happen?” and “How can we ensure women and
children’s safety?” We must say NO to sexual violence, recognize it as the
crime that it is, and acknowledge our responsibility as a community to stop it.
We deserve to live in a safe world.

(Taking from posts by Tanya Newman and Georgina Thompson who work with Wellington Rape Crisis)

I felt this video/commercial to be very necessary due to the subject at hand. As being a big fan of the show Law & Order: Special Victims Unit I found that violence against women is almost and everyday occurrence to them. Like the actor Mariska Hargitay will say she really didn’t know much about it until she was receiving thousands of letters from women with true stories.

Some Stats - Violence = Feminism

“One in three women around the world is likely to suffer physical, sexual or other abuse in her lifetime, usually at the hands of a family member or someone she knows. Half of the sexually assaults in the world are on girls of 15 or younger.”
(Boseley, S. (2005).Guardian Weekly, October 28-November 3. p. 33)

“The NZ Youth 2000 study found that 22.2% of girls and 11.3% of boys reported an experience of unwanted sexual behaviour.”
(McGregor, K. (2004). Women talk about childhood sexual abuse. Women’s Health Update. Volume 8 No 2, October 2004, p. 1-2)

“In 48 population-based surveys around the world, between 10 and 90 per cent of women reported being physically assaulted by an intimate partner at some point in their lives. In some countries, one in four women report sexual violence by an intimate partner.”
(Van der Gaag, N. (2004). The No-Nonsense guide to Women’s Rights. United Kingdom: New Internationalist Publications Ltd, p.101)

“Sexual, physical and psychological violence causes as much of a burden of ill health and death among women aged 15 to 44 as cancer – an more than malaria and traffic accidents combined.”
(Van der Gaag, N. (2004). The No-Nonsense guide to Women’s Rights. United Kingdom: New Internationalist Publications Ltd, p.101)